3 Idiots

A friend said, "If you want to attract readers for your blog, then your posts must be 'a little sexy''. So if you find this post offensive, then the two persons who would be held responsible are, that friend of mine, and the second one is Mr.Jim Carrey. You will understand the reason for dragging Jim Carrey in this, once you complete reading this post.

In the first year of my college days, I had two roommates. One was Gopal and the other one was Malai. Among the three, Malai was a bit weird. He used to munch the eatables facing the corner wall showing us his back, to avoid us having a share from it. When he is listening to a song, if it happens to be one our favorite songs and if we start shaking our heads (showing off that we like it), he will go and switch off the player. Of course, not without reasons, we used to pull his leg often, so he used to vent his anger by doing these. There is another character here. Mr. Arun, who was staying in the next room. He was kind of dark and lean with a mush. In later days, some of our classmates called him, 'Sembuli' (means red tiger), since he had a strong resemblence to an actor with that name. He was a 'born with a silver spoon' kind of a boy, though you can never find it out with his looks. Everyday evening we used to sit and chat about all the 'wonderful things of life'. But all the times, Arun would come up with a subject like, the music of Ricky Martin, BackStreet Boys, Bon Jovi, Eminem, or the movies of Jim Carrey, Tom Hanks or Cruise, which we never knew about, since I was from the worst drought affected area in tamilnadu, which is worse than a village (and I knew only Jackie Chan as a Hollywood Hero). And I was somewhat better than my roommate in this general knowledge. (If you dont know any of these names yourself, then I have been searching for you, all these times bro, join me.)

So we both would be sitting there scratching our heads when he talks these topics. Once he was talking about a Jim Carrey movie. Its name was Ace Ventura : Pet Detective. When he started the topic, I was slightly happy that I had watched one or two scenes from that movie.

In that movie, in a scene, Mr.Jim Carrey talks with a lot of emotion for around ten minutes grabbing a woman. (We guys never understood the dialogues in the english movies, right? So ) I knew he was talking, but I never knew what it was all about. First he grabs her hair, and pulls it violently. Then tears her dress down one by one and leaves her with her panties. Then after some ten minutes of dialogue, he turns her and shows everyone her back. (There you see, this is the tricky thing.) There is a slight bulge in her panties on her back. Everyone on the screen is left awestruck. This is the Climax of that movie. And this was the only scene I had watched in that movie.

So when he started the topic, I exclaimed,

"Ya, the one, in that, a lady shits in her panties, in the climax!"

On hearing this, he burst out laughing. And he started explaining the 'actual' story. In that, the woman we see in the climax is not a woman. Its a man in disguise. So to prove this fact , our hero tries pulling his hair. But to his shock, the hair is real. Also his upper body looks exactly like a woman's. And with no other option he turns him and shows everyone that, he has tucked his male organs between his legs.

After he told this story, my roommate also joined him. And they showed me how aged people practice laughter therapy in the mornings, for atleast ten minutes. I was caught off guard, I thought it is better not to talk at that point of time, since I had already made sure, I had informed them by telling this story, where I was hailing from. But I was furious with Arun, but could not show that. But at some other time, he also made fun of Gopal. That night, he came to the room, and told me,
"Dey, this Windies is going overboard da! We will have to teach him a lesson." And I was waiting for this. And like all the college goers, I was aspiring to become a rowdy and show my courage to the world. "And why dont we start with this one?" I asked myself. Then I told Gopal,
"We will 'touch him' machi! What say?"
"Beating? No da! He would go and complain, no no!"
"Come on da! At least we will just have a tough talk and leave him, ok?"
"Ok da"

Then we went to his room, he was reading a weekly. (When did we read subject book?) It was 12:30 midnight. We asked if he wants to join us for a coffee. He came with us, needless to say, it was for that free coffee. Slowly we were walking near the ground. Suddenly, my tone changed. I said,
"Dey, What do you think about yourself? you are not gonna go back to your room tonight." I was smiling wrily,
And I thrust him forward. He turned towards me and said, "No da, Dont touch me, I am telling you". I sensed that he was nervous. I was expecting this.
Slowly I hit him in the back. He turned to me and shouted, and I said, "Did you see me hitting you?" Then he turned to the other side, and shouted at my roommate. He said he didnt hit him. Then we started pushing him to the basketball ground. Since the security guard noticed us, we silently returned to our rooms.

But even after that, he didnt relent. So once we wrote him a letter threatening him, without from address. No no,

It had the from address,

"Mr. Black,
Karuppampatti,
Kaattuvaasipaalayam,
Karuppur-9."

I wrote the letter with my left hand, and posted it. We waited for more than month, but there was no response fom him. And I had promised my roommate that I would not tell anyone about this letter. So I was also keeping mum about the letter. But I was so curious to know what he felt after reading it. Wanted to see his reaction.

One day, we were going for the classes (by walk). I slowly started,

"Dey Arun, did you get any anonymous letters?"

"Deeeyyyyy! I knew da! You are the culprit! Who else would have written such an obscene letter like that?" There was a "I caught him" look in his face.

I said, "Dey, your friends Abi and others were talking about an anonymous letter they wrote to you! Thats why I am asking you and you are doubting ME!" I showed an innocent face.

"Woooooooo! Now I know da! Abi is the one. He is always like this machi! Tsh!Tsh!"

Escape!