I do not put 'kadalai'

We friends were having some important discussion, that night (we were chattering, he he, I will try to be frank hereafter) . Praywin entered the room and said,

"Friends, you are all joining me for the Christmas celebration, this friday evening."

I plainly asked, "Why should I come?"

"Dinner will be provided.", he said.

But I liked the deal I must say!

I did not know that I had made a blunder. The word dinner blocked everything else, which would reach my ears afterwords.

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I, with my friends Dhaya, Rams and Kesavan reached the spot on time, that Friday. There were this food court and an open space nearby, at the Elliots beach. There were around hundred steel chairs and a small stage had been erected. On the stage were some music instruments. But no one had arrived by the time we went. So we were just sitting there, with an expression a stray dog gives when it has entered an unknown street. I was trying hard to persuade kesavan that one of the instruments placed on the stage, was not a Violin, but a Guitar. As usual, I failed to do so. Slowly people started gathering. A guy pushed a small booklet in my hand. I was startled and then had a sigh of relief when I saw that he was issuing the booklets to everyone. I asked kesavan about the purpose of the booklets in muddled voice, and was informed that the booklet contained the lyrics of the songs, which they were going to sing in a moment. And I was also informed that we needed to sing along.

Chorus! Chorus!!

I asked one more doubt, which he too could not clarify. I asked why each booklet had a number written on it. The singing started. I lost the line number, so I was simply saying, "voo voo voo", with them (forgive the blasphemy here). Then started the game (and also the bad time for us). A host came and just uttered three sentences in English. They were like,

"I am write-handed."

"I know cycling."

"I am handsome."

And he said, the audience needed to find out, which of the three sentences, was a lie. If the correct-lie (!!) was found, he lost, and the one who found it out, would earn a point. Then came the important rule. The host would then call a number. The person, who had the booklet with the given number, would be the next one on the stage. Superb game, isn't it? Once I heard him saying this, I just crushed my booklet and threw it away (obviously I did not want to play a game like that, that too in front of a bunch of people, whom I had never met before. (Oh! I said I would be frank! okay, I was too nervous to stand there on that stage!) ). But kesavan saw me doing this, he ran and picked that booklet up, and kept. I clearly knew that he was going to drag me on to the stage, if my number was called. In my dictionary, some times friend means enemy! I was biting my nails, as if I would finish my dinner by eating off my fingers. After some time, one of the people who had been dragged to the stage, called twenty three. I grabbed my booklet and checked. It was twenty four. Then? It was kesavan!

I grabbed him by his shirt and murmured, "This is the right time da, come we will run away and join for the dinner, once this shit is over, what say?"

"Come on da! Don't be a coward! Just three sentences! Let me go!", said he. And went up to the stage.

The climax

"I am clever"

"I know swimming"

"I DO NOT PUT KADALAI!"

The whole crowd went berseck. Everyone was in splits. And our boss was unfazed by any of these, standing there, proudly. 'Kadalai' in a christian meeting! Once the crowd were done with their laughing, the host asked the audience to find out, which of the three sentences was a lie. One guy raised his hands, and said, "The first sentence was a lie. He can never be a clever guy after all!", and burst out laughing. I was literally rolling on the floor, laughing. It took a hell lot time before I regained my calmness. Then kesavan came to the chair, wearily. He still hadn't yet understood what happened there.

I growled, "What the fuck have you done da? This is a christian prayer meet! You should not talk about kadalai, shit, fuck and all on the stage here, understand?"

"Okay, tell me one little thing. What was your lie?"

He just said, "I can't swim!".

"Then why did you say that you don't put kadalai. What were you doing on your phone, all the nights? He asked you to lie only once. Going by the result of the game, you are not clever either. So all the three sentences you mentioned there, were lies!"

He was standing there, scratching his head.

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The climax - II

Finally, while we were having our dinner, kesavan said, "Thank god! None of our class girls were invited here!". I just had a look around and patted on his shoulder.

"What?"

"Look there!"

Two of our class girls were standing there, and when we looked at them, they were in splits too! They were literally laughing at him (or at us?!!).

Till date, trust me, I HAVE NEVER PUT 'KADALAI'.