Views of a Joker

I do not put 'kadalai'

2011-06-17T10:40:00.000-07:00

We friends were having some important discussion, that night (we were chattering, he he, I will try to be frank hereafter) . Praywin entered the room and said,

"Friends, you are all joining me for the Christmas celebration, this friday evening."

I plainly asked, "Why should I come?"

"Dinner will be provided.", he said.

But I liked the deal I must say!

I did not know that I had made a blunder. The word dinner blocked everything else, which would reach my ears afterwords.

-----

I, with my friends Dhaya, Rams and Kesavan reached the spot on time, that Friday. There were this food court and an open space nearby, at the Elliots beach. There were around hundred steel chairs and a small stage had been erected. On the stage were some music instruments. But no one had arrived by the time we went. So we were just sitting there, with an expression a stray dog gives when it has entered an unknown street. I was trying hard to persuade kesavan that one of the instruments placed on the stage, was not a Violin, but a Guitar. As usual, I failed to do so. Slowly people started gathering. A guy pushed a small booklet in my hand. I was startled and then had a sigh of relief when I saw that he was issuing the booklets to everyone. I asked kesavan about the purpose of the booklets in muddled voice, and was informed that the booklet contained the lyrics of the songs, which they were going to sing in a moment. And I was also informed that we needed to sing along.

Chorus! Chorus!!

I asked one more doubt, which he too could not clarify. I asked why each booklet had a number written on it. The singing started. I lost the line number, so I was simply saying, "voo voo voo", with them (forgive the blasphemy here). Then started the game (and also the bad time for us). A host came and just uttered three sentences in English. They were like,

"I am write-handed."

"I know cycling."

"I am handsome."

And he said, the audience needed to find out, which of the three sentences, was a lie. If the correct-lie (!!) was found, he lost, and the one who found it out, would earn a point. Then came the important rule. The host would then call a number. The person, who had the booklet with the given number, would be the next one on the stage. Superb game, isn't it? Once I heard him saying this, I just crushed my booklet and threw it away (obviously I did not want to play a game like that, that too in front of a bunch of people, whom I had never met before. (Oh! I said I would be frank! okay, I was too nervous to stand there on that stage!) ). But kesavan saw me doing this, he ran and picked that booklet up, and kept. I clearly knew that he was going to drag me on to the stage, if my number was called. In my dictionary, some times friend means enemy! I was biting my nails, as if I would finish my dinner by eating off my fingers. After some time, one of the people who had been dragged to the stage, called twenty three. I grabbed my booklet and checked. It was twenty four. Then? It was kesavan!

I grabbed him by his shirt and murmured, "This is the right time da, come we will run away and join for the dinner, once this shit is over, what say?"

"Come on da! Don't be a coward! Just three sentences! Let me go!", said he. And went up to the stage.

The climax

"I am clever"

"I know swimming"

"I DO NOT PUT KADALAI!"

The whole crowd went berseck. Everyone was in splits. And our boss was unfazed by any of these, standing there, proudly. 'Kadalai' in a christian meeting! Once the crowd were done with their laughing, the host asked the audience to find out, which of the three sentences was a lie. One guy raised his hands, and said, "The first sentence was a lie. He can never be a clever guy after all!", and burst out laughing. I was literally rolling on the floor, laughing. It took a hell lot time before I regained my calmness. Then kesavan came to the chair, wearily. He still hadn't yet understood what happened there.

I growled, "What the fuck have you done da? This is a christian prayer meet! You should not talk about kadalai, shit, fuck and all on the stage here, understand?"

"Okay, tell me one little thing. What was your lie?"

He just said, "I can't swim!".

"Then why did you say that you don't put kadalai. What were you doing on your phone, all the nights? He asked you to lie only once. Going by the result of the game, you are not clever either. So all the three sentences you mentioned there, were lies!"

He was standing there, scratching his head.

----------

The climax - II

Finally, while we were having our dinner, kesavan said, "Thank god! None of our class girls were invited here!". I just had a look around and patted on his shoulder.

"What?"

"Look there!"

Two of our class girls were standing there, and when we looked at them, they were in splits too! They were literally laughing at him (or at us?!!).

Till date, trust me, I HAVE NEVER PUT 'KADALAI'.

AVOID WATCHING THIS CRICKET WORLD CUP

2011-02-16T00:15:00.000-08:00

I have been watching & playing cricket, since i was six. I have seen Rahul Dravid's defensive prods for three whole days, without even blinking.

But two days back, in an English news channel, two cricket fans were so emotionally speaking about that day's match and our national team's performance. I did not know that there had been a match that day, so I went and checked, and it was a warm up match leading to this year's world cup. I do not know why, but I felt it was silly.

Today, our prime minister was giving an interview to the electronic media. This was his first interview after the news about the big scams (2G, 4G, etc) broke out. A senior editor from a news channel (channel 24 i guess) asks him a question. "Sir, who do you think will win this cricket world cup and who is your favorite player?"!! It was disgusting.

Everyone around me is talking about cricket world cup, but I get irritated to even listen to them.

There is a cricket team from a country called Zimbabwe. It was banned from playing international cricket because of its racist attitude, some years ago. But now, a nation, which has been accused of racialism and has been accused of massacring its own people, conducts the very cricket world cup. Why this discrimination?

We can easily find the reason. Nowadays, I see cricket more as an entertainment and business than a game. And India is the monetary powerhouse, which the ICC really needs now to run its business. And India supports Srilanka. Its as simple as that.

No one can persuade anyone and infuse a change in their mindset. It should come from within. So think, and avoid watching this cricket world cup.

Jokers Of The Week

2010-02-05T23:22:00.000-08:00

They had a collection of T-Shirts dumped on a table there, in that stall. There was a group of girls standing at the far end of that open space. They were here in chennai for the first time, it seemed. And there was also a sizeable crowd doing some shopping in those stalls. Two 20+ boys approached that stall, where the T-Shirts were sold. Murugan and Dinesh were looking after the stall, showing the collections to the onlookers. Murugan seemed to be older than Dinesh, and he was suggesting some Ts to the two boys. One of them was keen on buying, and he had two, three pieces in his hands.

Murugan said, "You can try it, if you are not sure about the size, sir." But there were no trial rooms there. The boy was hesitant for a second, and tried to wear the T-shirt on his shirt itself. Then Murugan said,
"Its okay Sir, Strip your shirt and give me, I will hold it for you.". And after a moment of thought, he removed his shirt, and gave it to Murugan. The moment the shirt was in his hands, Murugan started running. For an instance, that guy didnt know what to do, as he was shirtless and found the crowd around them, are laughing at him. He started chasing Murugan and that guy's friend followed him. After chasing him for some ten minutes, he caught him. When he grabbed his shirt from him, his friend joined him.

When they started quarreling, Dinesh went there, and showed them the Camera inside a car there. Soon a good-looking girl in jeans, reached them with a mic in her hands. They all faced the camera, and the girl asked what was the guy-who-lost-his-shirt's name.

"Murali"
"What?"
Loudly, "Murali"
"Ok, Viewers, if you think that Murali is our 'Joker of the week', send an SMS typing JOTW space Murali to 98989. One of you (not murali) will get this ten soverign jewel set!". She was showing a Jewel box with a necklace and some other jewels.

They made Murali wear a Joker cap and give a pose.

"Ok, Thats it for now, see you next week the same time. This is Pooja, with Murugan and Dinesh, signing off" (Imagine the usual mischievous looks and the over-the-top performance).

------------

Pooja looked like a high-class girl. Murugan and Dinesh were also trying to give that 'rich look', but the harder they try, the more it gets exposed that they are anything but rich. And from the way they talked and carried themselves, it clearly showed that the two are trying to woo Pooja, using their humor and wits. And there was another one, Ram, who looked like a beggar in Jeans, who directs this crap.

The car, which carried the Camera, left immediately, once the shooting got over. These four were waiting for another car, which would come and pick them up. It was five in the evening, when the car arrived. The driver said, there was a small problem in the car, but now it was fine. The driver handed Ram the car key and left. Ram took the wheel.

Dinesh said, "If you tried a little harder, he would well have stripped off his pants as well da!". Pooja was screaming, and Dinesh was satisfied with his effort in trying to impress her. Murugan said, "But I never thought he would start chasing me! He scared the shit out of me! Thank god you all came!". They all were laughing now. They were some 50 kms away from the city, when the car went off. There were no mechanic shops, Ram had called the driver, and was said that it would take another 2 hours for him to come there. The road was deserted. Pooja was sitting inside, while the others were standing beside the car trying to hitchhike. Except a lunatic who was walking towards them slowly from the far end, no one else was there. He had a long beard, it almost covered his face. It was very difficult to guess his age. As he approached the car, he took out a (very) small stone from his coat pocket, and threw on the car. It gave a thud sound.

----------

"Hey Baadu!" - Murugan.
"Hey, pooja your friend is here" - Dinesh. Pooja was giggling and said "Heyyyy!".
"I think you have a problem with your car, right?" - Lunatic
"Oh, You are that Ford company General Manager! Glad to meet you, sir!" - Murugan
"Muruga, now we have a real one da" - Dinesh whispered.
"There are no mechanic shops around here and it is too far for your friends to reach here in time!" -Lunatic
Ram was staring without any reaction. Dinesh and Murugan exchanged a puzzling look. He is sane!
"But I can have a look at it if you want"
Pooja had also come out by then. Then they went back, and had a chat.
"Do you think he knows this?"-Dinesh
Ram shrugged and said, "May be". "Ok we will see what he does" - Murugan.

Then Murugan came to the lunatic, and said, "Ok, try it".
Murugan was looking at pooja, stealthily. She didnt know. The lunatic said to him, "You will never get things you dont deserve." and smiled.

The lunatic peeped into the car. The backside window was open, and there was the jewel box. He asked without changing his smile, "What will you do, if I take that car key and run away?"
Four of them were shocked. Dinesh said, "You are not even able to walk, you loony!"
Suddenly Pooja remembered she kept the jewel box inside, and ran to take it.

The lunatic said, "Ok, Stop there!"
"We will play a quiz! Before you solve my puzzle, I will fix your car. What do you say?"
"Hey, You dont have to fix anything, you zombie! Get your ass off here!" - Dinesh
"Ok, I have no problem for me, but its already getting so dark here!"
"Ok, ok guys, tell us, whats the puzzle, you asshole" - Pooja
The others immediately accepted, since it was her.
"Ok, for example, A man lives on the twelfth floor of an apartment building. Every morning he takes the elevator down to the lobby and leaves the building. In the evening, he gets into the elevator, and, if there is someone else in the elevator -- or if it was raining that day -- he goes back to his floor directly. However, if there is nobody else in the elevator and it hasn't rained, he goes to the tenth floor and walks up two flights of stairs to his room. Why is that?"

"I know this! The man is a midget. He can't reach the upper elevator buttons, but he can ask people to push them for him. He can also push them with his umbrella. Now fix the car." - Pooja. The other guys are awestruck. They didnt think that she would answer that.

"But I said, its an example!", the lunatic laughed.
"Ok, here are the rules! you turn and get back five steps.I will tell you the puzzle and you can ask for further details if you are not able to solve it. But I can answer only yes or no" If I say yes, the one who asked the question can get one step closer to your car. If its a no, you will go one step back. Once you complete the puzzle, the one who got most number of yes's wins, Deal?"

"What if you take the jewel box, and run away?" - Dinesh
"I will be answering your questions, right? And will also be fixing your car, at the same time. So if you dont hear my answer, you know I cant run, since I am already limping, so you can come and catch me, simple. But if you turn and look back when I am answering your questions, I will be off"

"Okay for me" - Pooja
Everyone nodded, went back and turned to the other side.
"A man sitting on a park bench reads a newspaper article headlined 'Death at Sea' and knows a murder has been committed. How come?"
"The headline said 'death at sea', thats why" - Dinesh, trying to outshine Murugan in front of Pooja.
"No" - Lunatic said as a matter of fact.
Pooja whispered to Dinesh, "The headline does not say that it is a murder you idiot!"
And then there was a long silence. There was only the sound of the lunatic opening the Bonnet. And for some time, only the metal sound was heard.

----

"The guy works in the sea transport, some thing like that?" - Ram
"Almost, hmm.. yes".
They were applauding him. They slowly started getting involved in the game. Ram came one step closer. Murugan was itching to blabber some thing at least.
"He books tickets, like agent? So someone came and booked tickets for a sail. So he knows." - Murugan
"Exactly, yes. Very little left now".
Murugan was ecstatic, and gave Dinesh an amused look. Pooja gave a pat on his back.
Then again there was a long silence.
"Murder means at least two people must have been involved. So two tickets were booked. Right a?" - Pooja
"Forward or return?"
"To and fro"
"Then, no"
She looked so tired now. After many no's, Ram came up with this.
"Yes, I got it. There were two tickets booked for forward, and one for return. Am I correct?"
"Exactly"
"Then thats all. The puzzle is solved na? " -Pooja
"No, Its not"
"Hmm, Would not the ticket have had the passengers' names?" - Pooja
"Hmm"
"At least the the name of the person, who booked it?"
"Yes of course."
"What if, they were husband and wife? Using the surname in the news paper and in the ticket, cant he guess who killed who?" - Dinesh, finally.
"Almost you got it. But can you be a bit more specific?"
"For example, the man booked the ticket, 2 for forward, and one for return, and kills his wife, midway through the journey. Using the surname in the newspaper and in the ticket, the ticket guy can guess that it was a murder, right?"
"Well done, chap. Its over!" said the lunatic closing the Bonnet.
Pooja ran to the car, and the box was still there. Took it up and shook it. She could hear the sound of the jewels. Ram came to the wheel and said thanks to the lunatic.
"Its two hundred." He said.
After looking at each other, Ram took out his purse, and handed him two hundred rupees notes.
The engine started now, and the lunatic slowly walked off. After some ten minutes of traveling, Pooja opened the box to check the jewels.

It was filled with small stones!

Crossword

2010-01-28T11:12:00.000-08:00

Flashback:

I was doing my third year in College. I and my friend Kumar used to go to the Besantnagar beach every weekend for relaxation and also to have a look at the girls there. Once we were waiting for the bus to Besantnagar. To pass the time he was telling a story about a guy who stays in the room next to his. I forgot the guy's name. So lets assume his name as X (as usual). I am telling you whatever he told me that day, now.

"Mr. X had a girl friend in his school it seems. He is kind of a half-minded fellow. Now he is in our college, doing third year mechanical engineering. His girl friend is doing her engineering in some other college (which is not in Chennai). As most of you experienced people know, distance is the main villain in these relationships. But our X is a bit different you know, every day at 9 o clock after dinner, he goes to a phone booth and calls her (Cell phones had not yet become popular at that time). The calls invariably go until 1 o clock. A guy usually accompanies him to the phone booth and waits there till he completes his call. That guy has leaked out all these details. The thing is, he starts his calls with, the regular stuff, like 'Had your dinner?', starts giving lectures about indian and american politics, sports and movies. After that.... he starts solving that day's crossword in Hindu. For this, he brings The Hindu everyday to the phone booth. His girlfriend also needs to keep that page with her, otherwise he starts giving lecture about remembering things, etc, which would take some one hour more than the usual time. Some times she starts crying, unable to bear his torture.

Days went by, a boy who is studying with the girl, proposed and was chasing her like anything. Considering X's torture and this, she decided to reciprocate his love. Not even understanding that his girlfriend is not in love with him anymore, he continues to torture her to this day, even after she told him about her new boyfriend. He also threatens her that he would kill himself."

-------

I was doing my final year now. Now we had single rooms for everyone. And my friend Prakash who was doing Mechanical engineering final year stayed in the same floor. He was very studious and very disciplined. He normally goes to bed at 11o clock sharp in the night. And for his final project, he found a new partner, his name was Parathap. One day at 11:30 Prakash came to my room, asked if I could come to his room and say 'Good night'. The reason was, his new project-mate and friend and classmate Prathap. Prathap keeps on talking about spiritual things, since prakash likes them. But the problem is, he keeps on talking until midnight. So I went. There I saw a lean and bald guy with specs. He was talking about love and hatred.

That time I imagined myself as a saviour to Prakash, and also a Hero. With this big brother attitude, I told Prathap, that everyone loves some things and hates some others in life. It is natural. Prakash was shaking his head in dismay. Prathap started this new topic with added enthusiasm.
"The universe itself, and every thing in it can be defined according to newton laws as a whole or none. Nothing can be partial. If you say that you love some thing in the world, you can not hate anyother thing. That would mean that you hate everything in this world"

Like that, some thing he was telling me, I started to get sleepy. Then I stood up and said "Goodnight Prakash".
Prathap said, "Hey where are you going, it is only 12. We will talk, he can sleep at 1"
Prakash gave me a killer look.

That time, since I had been chasing a girl full time, my exam results bombed. So many Arrears. Added to this, I had not got any Job. Most of them in my class had got placed. Like everyone else, my faith in god increased direct proportional to the increase in my problems. So I went to the Madhya Kailash temple in Adyar, alone that evening. After fighting with God for failing me in the Subjects , I was having a stroll around the inner building. There I saw Prathap sitting at a corner. Since it was very dark, I couldnt see that he was meditating.

"Hey man, Why are you sitting here?"
"Hey, I am asking you only da"

Slowly he opened his eyes and said "Shhhhhhhhh".
"Wait I will drop you in the hostel in my Bike."

For around half an hour I was sitting not knowing what to do next. Then, he slowly opened his eyes.
While going back, he showed me both heaven and hell. He went at around 80 kmph in the busy traffic of adyar. He didnt follow even the signals. Once my leg hit on an Auto. The auto uncle shouted at us. Prathap turned back and had long look at him (even now the vehicle was moving at the same speed). Once he stopped his bike, I turned back, said thanks and ran to Parakash's room. I asked him what had happened to this guy. He said, "He follows Swamy Vivekananda vigorously. Vivekanada said 'Have no fear!', so he is being so bold!".

I was so irritated that I left his room immediately. I doubted that this Prathap is the same guy, my friend Kumar was talking about, from his behavior. At that time, I was telling everyone that I am a straight forward guy. Like each and every straight forward person, I was also stupid. Once me and Prathap were having a chat in Prakash's room. Suddenly I asked,

"Hey, you are the one, who is calling your girlfriend every night and ask her to solve crossword until midnight, right? Dont lie to me, I know"

He stared at me for a long time, and said,
"No."

Then there was a long silence.To break the ice, I asked, "Why are they still keeping Ganguly in the team?". Because, it was the time when Ganguly was not able to cross single digit score in so many matches and was given nicknames like "Noodles Ganguly" for coming back to the pavilion so soon.

Prathap started giving a lecture until 2 in the night. The thing is, I didnt know that he was a Ganguly fan. Prakash was giving me the same killer look.

After this happened, the next time I met Prathap was, when I was on my way to meet a friend in another hostel. At that time, on seeing me, he came, and started shouting, without any possible reason. He was using words, which are unprintable, and also were unheard of. All the swearing words, which existed in tamil. He was not shouting at me. But there was no one else at that place. He was talking as if he was talking about a third person.

I came and told Prakash about this, and he started laughing. I also heard that Prathap was taking pills to control his aggression. I never understood why he did that, that day.

After a month or so, when I was talking with a friend, he said he is the one who accompanies Prathap to make calls to his girlfriend. So he is the Crossword man! Now I understood the reason for all his swearing.

3 Idiots

2010-01-28T08:25:00.000-08:00

A friend said, "If you want to attract readers for your blog, then your posts must be 'a little sexy''. So if you find this post offensive, then the two persons who would be held responsible are, that friend of mine, and the second one is Mr.Jim Carrey. You will understand the reason for dragging Jim Carrey in this, once you complete reading this post.

In the first year of my college days, I had two roommates. One was Gopal and the other one was Malai. Among the three, Malai was a bit weird. He used to munch the eatables facing the corner wall showing us his back, to avoid us having a share from it. When he is listening to a song, if it happens to be one our favorite songs and if we start shaking our heads (showing off that we like it), he will go and switch off the player. Of course, not without reasons, we used to pull his leg often, so he used to vent his anger by doing these. There is another character here. Mr. Arun, who was staying in the next room. He was kind of dark and lean with a mush. In later days, some of our classmates called him, 'Sembuli' (means red tiger), since he had a strong resemblence to an actor with that name. He was a 'born with a silver spoon' kind of a boy, though you can never find it out with his looks. Everyday evening we used to sit and chat about all the 'wonderful things of life'. But all the times, Arun would come up with a subject like, the music of Ricky Martin, BackStreet Boys, Bon Jovi, Eminem, or the movies of Jim Carrey, Tom Hanks or Cruise, which we never knew about, since I was from the worst drought affected area in tamilnadu, which is worse than a village (and I knew only Jackie Chan as a Hollywood Hero). And I was somewhat better than my roommate in this general knowledge. (If you dont know any of these names yourself, then I have been searching for you, all these times bro, join me.)

So we both would be sitting there scratching our heads when he talks these topics. Once he was talking about a Jim Carrey movie. Its name was Ace Ventura : Pet Detective. When he started the topic, I was slightly happy that I had watched one or two scenes from that movie.

In that movie, in a scene, Mr.Jim Carrey talks with a lot of emotion for around ten minutes grabbing a woman. (We guys never understood the dialogues in the english movies, right? So ) I knew he was talking, but I never knew what it was all about. First he grabs her hair, and pulls it violently. Then tears her dress down one by one and leaves her with her panties. Then after some ten minutes of dialogue, he turns her and shows everyone her back. (There you see, this is the tricky thing.) There is a slight bulge in her panties on her back. Everyone on the screen is left awestruck. This is the Climax of that movie. And this was the only scene I had watched in that movie.

So when he started the topic, I exclaimed,

"Ya, the one, in that, a lady shits in her panties, in the climax!"

On hearing this, he burst out laughing. And he started explaining the 'actual' story. In that, the woman we see in the climax is not a woman. Its a man in disguise. So to prove this fact , our hero tries pulling his hair. But to his shock, the hair is real. Also his upper body looks exactly like a woman's. And with no other option he turns him and shows everyone that, he has tucked his male organs between his legs.

After he told this story, my roommate also joined him. And they showed me how aged people practice laughter therapy in the mornings, for atleast ten minutes. I was caught off guard, I thought it is better not to talk at that point of time, since I had already made sure, I had informed them by telling this story, where I was hailing from. But I was furious with Arun, but could not show that. But at some other time, he also made fun of Gopal. That night, he came to the room, and told me,
"Dey, this Windies is going overboard da! We will have to teach him a lesson." And I was waiting for this. And like all the college goers, I was aspiring to become a rowdy and show my courage to the world. "And why dont we start with this one?" I asked myself. Then I told Gopal,
"We will 'touch him' machi! What say?"
"Beating? No da! He would go and complain, no no!"
"Come on da! At least we will just have a tough talk and leave him, ok?"
"Ok da"

Then we went to his room, he was reading a weekly. (When did we read subject book?) It was 12:30 midnight. We asked if he wants to join us for a coffee. He came with us, needless to say, it was for that free coffee. Slowly we were walking near the ground. Suddenly, my tone changed. I said,
"Dey, What do you think about yourself? you are not gonna go back to your room tonight." I was smiling wrily,
And I thrust him forward. He turned towards me and said, "No da, Dont touch me, I am telling you". I sensed that he was nervous. I was expecting this.
Slowly I hit him in the back. He turned to me and shouted, and I said, "Did you see me hitting you?" Then he turned to the other side, and shouted at my roommate. He said he didnt hit him. Then we started pushing him to the basketball ground. Since the security guard noticed us, we silently returned to our rooms.

But even after that, he didnt relent. So once we wrote him a letter threatening him, without from address. No no,

It had the from address,

"Mr. Black,
Karuppampatti,
Kaattuvaasipaalayam,
Karuppur-9."

I wrote the letter with my left hand, and posted it. We waited for more than month, but there was no response fom him. And I had promised my roommate that I would not tell anyone about this letter. So I was also keeping mum about the letter. But I was so curious to know what he felt after reading it. Wanted to see his reaction.

One day, we were going for the classes (by walk). I slowly started,

"Dey Arun, did you get any anonymous letters?"

"Deeeyyyyy! I knew da! You are the culprit! Who else would have written such an obscene letter like that?" There was a "I caught him" look in his face.

I said, "Dey, your friends Abi and others were talking about an anonymous letter they wrote to you! Thats why I am asking you and you are doubting ME!" I showed an innocent face.

"Woooooooo! Now I know da! Abi is the one. He is always like this machi! Tsh!Tsh!"

Escape!

The Punishment - II

2010-01-26T07:10:00.000-08:00

-Continued from the previous post, which is here-

Moorthy
5-6-2007

He was a bright student in school days. But suddenly his marks slipped to low, when he was studying eleventh. He had got the highest marks in his school in tenth. His mother started crying when she saw a cigarette stub in his pocket once. His elder brother Karthik, was in college. He used to come home only two months once. And once his mother was called from Arun's school, and informed that he had not been present for more than a month. She started crying in the school itself, and came home without uttering a word to them. When he came home, she beat him up. In the following days, we came to know some shocking things about him. To make a long story short, I will list the things he had done.

His Teacher said, he was fully drunk all the time, even in the class. Most of the time he was seen sitting at the far end of the school ground, fully drunk. When she saw this for the first time, she beat him up, kept his school bag with her, and asked to bring his parents to get his school bag back.

He had become a chain smoker.

He had given a love letter to his science teacher's daughter. (I do not know further details about this to explain you.)

He had stolen most of the jewels from home, for drinking and for watching movies.

This behavioral change started when he went to kerala, with his neighbors once (their neighbors were actually from kerala), for a week, during a summer.

--------

Karhtik came home, once he heard about all these things, he started crying with his mother, didnt know what else to do. Then they stopped sending him to school. At that time, I was working in kodaikanal for a project. I suggested them to admit him in a new school in kodaikanal. A change of environment would work for him I thought. And I would also take care of him, during the weekends, since I was staying there alone. So he joined there. Though he got a hostel room, he used to stay in my room most of the times.

On a sunday, I had gone to chennai to meet my boss, so Arun was alone in my room. Karthik planned give a surprise visit to my room, it seems. Me and karthik were thick friends, so he used to visit me often, even though he doesnt go home often. At the same time, he also wanted to make sure that Arun is doing well. When he entered the room, he was shocked to see arun boozing there.

He got angry and started shouting at him and threatened him that he was going to tell their mother what he saw there. Arun hit him with the bottle he had in his hand. He fell unconscious and died.

----------

I reached home at eight o clock that night, and was taken aback to see his body lying there. I did not know what to do. I was shivering, and I could not even take out my phone from my pant pocket. I called my aunt and told her that her son's body was lying in my room. I could hear her howling from that end. And I went searching for Arun and found him crying at a road side. He was sitting there alone with his arms around his legs. I could guess what would have happened. I asked him not to tell this to anyone. We went home, waited for my aunt to come. Once she came, I took the body with my father's help (My aunt and my father had come in a car, so our job was made easy), and threw it on the railway track.

The next day police found out the body as expected. The body was brought to our native. The fact that my aunt was too hysterical to speak to the police, helped us. After initial investigations, the police lady told me that the injury does not seem to be got from a train accident. She said it was definitely a murder.

Covering a murder here in india is very cheap I learned from this experience. We spent 70 thousand rupees for the police to register it as an accident.

After that, Arun's mother went back, saying that she considers both of her sons were dead. I took care of his studies after that. He did his studies about average. He became so silent after that incident, and talked only to me and not even with his classmates. He also finished his college there in Kodaikanal. After that, he joined my room, in chennai. Now he is in the hospital. I initially thought it was a delirium caused by the shock of whatever had happened. But I never thought it would be some kind of a mental disorder. And he is much better now. I feel he has suffered a lot already for whatever he did.

--------

Arun
11-6-1998

That day I went outside and took out the bottle in the midst of the firewoods kept there. I usually keep my bottles there, since Moorthy does not go there often. Since he his gonna come only at 9 in the night, I can enjoy today. I switched on the TV, and was just browsing through the channels. I heard a sound and when I turned back, I saw my brother standing there.

He dropped his bag in shock. He was in tears.

"What happened to you da, Psycho?"

I had also started crying by the time. I am usually, kind of moody and very sensitive. I had been using this as a weapon, since once I start crying, they would let me off, whatever I do. I was only 15 by then, for your information.

"Not even had a sip na, this is the first time since I came to kodaikanal". I lied.

Saw the news paper lying on the floor unread.

"We welcome Honorable Kalpanath Rai, Union Petroleum minister!"

"Enough of your acting!"

"I am gonna go and tell mother about this. You dont need schooling. Its waste of money."

Need to tear yesterday's date in the calender.

"There is nothing called present, there is only recent past and immediate future."

"How much we have suffered because of you, scum! You are not gonna change.
Enjoy your present, but be prepared for its consequences! And you are going to see the consequences of your present for yourself"

He turned back and started leaving. I dont know what was I thinking, I hit him with the bottle on his head. He fell down. There was blood everywhere. He was shaking awkwardly as if he had a stroke. His eyes were fixed at me. Still he was crying, it seemed. Slowly he stopped shaking.

"I killed him!"
"I killed my own brother!"

-End-

The Punishment - I

2010-01-26T06:18:00.000-08:00

Arun
7-11-2006

Recently I keep getting this weird feeling, that the things I see or hear, I have experienced them before. Dejavu? I do not know. But some times, when me and my room mates are chattering together, I find some of the things they say, I feel I have heard those things before. But it might be my own imagination, since most of the times I am alone in my room, and my thoughts sway like a small piece of cloth in the air. When I am sitting alone my room, I feel lonely and depressed. At times my mind gets philosophical and tries to find the reasons for human sufferings. And I feel my roommates share the same thoughts some times. So I obviously think that I have heard the same thing already. But the same thing might already have been said by some one else. Who knows?

We five people share this room. Me, my cousin brother Moorthy, Six years older than me, works in TCS. He joined TCS some two years back. Before that, he was working in a small company, and was doing his MCA in correspondence. Ravi, who is also from my native, and Bala work in a start up company. And also there is Venkatesh and Sakthi. Except Moorthy, I do not share a good rapport with the others. Not that I hate them, but I cant say they are my friends.

I joined them only six months back. But the others were staying there for almost two years I guess. In chennai, you wont get this big a house for 4500. The reason for this is, there was a suicide, just before these guys moved here. Love failure is the reason, I heard. Thery had found the decomposed body only after a week it seems. Police came, they questioned the owner about the details of the tenant, like address and phone number. Usually software guys tell the owner that, only 2 people will stay while moving in, but there will be 4 or 5 people staying in that room. So obviously she did not know even the guy's name. They got heavy bribe from the owner and asked her to take care of sending the body to the hospital, she was tellng me. The body was hanging here for a week in the same room I am sitting now, alone.

------------

Recently, Venktesh started behaving in a strange way. I definitely feel some thing is wrong with him. That day I kept all my shirts for washing. I, Venkatesh and Sakthi were planning to go have our breakfast in a nearby mess. I just took one of venkatesh's shirts hanging there, and wore it. He saw that, and started shouting at me. I just said that I have only three shirts and I kept them all for washing. After shouting for some 10 mins he started giving me advice. I dont remember each and every word, but some of them I can never forget. It went like this,

"Hey dont use my shorts da! I will tell you once and only once! You are always sitting in the room staring out at the window. Why dont you wash your clothes. Why are you testing our patience."

"Enjoy your present, but be prepared for its consequences!"

Then I dont remember what the hell had happened. I was lying on the ground. Both of them were staring at me angrily. He had hit me! Hit me! After that I stopped talking with both of them. I started getting their murmurings behind me, when I cross them. To make matters worse, Ravi has joined them, it seems. Over time I realized that, he is the one, who was spreading this hatred against me, since he does not like me for some reasons, which I didnt know, I felt.

-----------

After a month or so, Venkatesh and sakthi left our room. They moved to Triplicane I heard, but I didnt care much. To my terror, Ravi's behavior has changed drastically. Some two weeks after the two left, one sunday morning he came and was searching in all his shirts' pockets. He was restless. I was reading Hindu.

"Dey, Did you see the Five hundred rupees note I kept in my shirt pocket?"

"No da, Check properly. You would have kept it somewhere else forgottenly."

"Sledging is part and parcel of the game. But there is a line defined by the ICC code of conducts, that should not be crossed. - Rahul Dravid"

"No, I checked properly. I clearly remember keeping it in my shirt."

"Any way, go and have a look into your cupboard."

"We welcome Honorable Kalpanath Rai, Union Petroleum minister!"

"Ngothaa! You are the only one sitting in this room. No one else has entered here. Give me my money back da."

We were rolling on the ground, grabbing each others shirt. Moorthy came running and was trying to pacify us. Ravi's hands were trembling. He was sweating like hell. He left. Evening he came, took his things and vacated the room. While taking his washed clothes, which were hanging outside of the room, that 500 rupee note fell down from one of the shirts' pocket. He took it, turned back and looked at me, and left.

----------

I started believing that some thing was wrong in our room. The way the other guys behaved. Even though we were not very thick friends, we had a good understanding. But some thing was wrong. I could not see it at that point of time. I was so afraid to stay in my room, alone. So for the next few days, once Moorthy leaves for office, I go out and roam around chennai. Most of the times by walk. Everyone in the city is in a hurry it seems. Then at the evening time I return to my room weary of walking for so long.

That day I came back to my room, and was sitting there staring outside through the window for some time. Then I saw that the daily Calendar was showing an old date. So I started tearing the dates one by one. Moorthy entered the room.

"You are early today?"
"Our release was over yesterday itself. So today I was so free."

"23-1-2005"

"Hey, I am so afraid to stay here alone. Today I was searching for a room in adambakkam area. And saw a room there. Shall we move there?"

"Jan-Sat"

"What? Why are you searching for a room now? Whats wrong here? Why are you afraid? You are alone in the room only in the day time. "

"Nethaji Subash Chandra Bose Birthday Today"

"You stay here alone in the day time once, you will understand then"

"Arun, Dont test my patience!"

"There is nothing called present, there is only recent past and immediate future."

Then I dont know what happened. But I saw I was grabbing him by his shirt.
Oh dear! It was me! Some thing was wrong with ME! Not with the others! Not with this house! I had roughed them up all and sent them out of this room one by one! I started crying. I took my hands off him slowly. He didnt look so angry. I was weeping. Then to my astonishment, he started consoling me. He knows my problem already!

-Continued in the next post, which is here-

2010-01-21T09:05:00.001-08:00

I had asked some of my friends their opinion about my blog. The main reason is... no I am not gonna tell you that :). And I got a few comments.

1 I do not have time da. I will have a look at it at home (and has not responded yet (and it has been a month)).

2 Ha ha ha, from where you copied all these things?

3 (He took a week to respond) It is not bad, but why dont you try blogging in tamil, because it would have taken a lot of time for you to google around to find the words and sentences for your idea (since you are not very fluent in English (This is not said, but understood! ) ).

4 You are normally light-hearted and I did not expect blog posts, which are so serious like these. (More than one of them shared this view)

5 Delete the posts before you get comments, bashing you.

Of course, two of them liked it. And I forgot to tell you all, that I got the idea for this URL from another blog (I almost plagiarized the name of the URL).

There is a Tamil writer called 'Charu Nivedita', and I hope most of you would know him. Recently, a friend showed me his website. I also liked some of his reviews and writings. Recently in Landmark, I bought one of his novels, 'Raasa Leela'. I should have been careful, when looked at the title itself, but somehow I missed it.

The novel crosses 500 pages. He includes in his novel, almost each and every person he meets everyday in his life. And the novel is a tiring depiction of his every day life.

A few samples are below.

* He was suffering from piles it seems. For 10 pages he explains the symptoms, sufferings and the failed and successful treatments he had taken.
* He adds all his email and chat conversations with all his girl friends (The GF list goes around 10).
* He lists the words he likes the most (most of them are bad words).
* And also there is a cooking tip for a foreign recipe (covers 2 pages I think).
* He says the most beautiful language in the world is Arabic, and starts teaching you arabic alphabets (and their pronunciations, of course).

* Above all, he gives different names for tamil writers Sujatha & Jeyamohan, and bashes them, (some times using obscene language). There are many others like them. I could not guess who is who, since I hate reading gossips.

These are just samples. He uses stories we read in news papers and his every day life in his novel.

And the story? I took around two months to complete the novel. The novel does not have a coherent story as far as I know. It has a lot of erotic contents (At times I was afraid for my mother would come and shout at me for reading it). Finally he mentions in the novel, that the publisher wants him to complete the novel soon, so he is going to complete it. (And eventually wraps it up by writing a poem in the end).

I resolved not to buy his book ever again. But I read that his other novel, 'zero degree' has been translated in english, and it is the highest sold (in terms of number of copies sold) book written by a tamil auther. And in the recently concluded book fair, I had a look at the book, and found his same every day routine in that, too, with loads of obscene words. I swiftly placed it back in the rack.

But to my shock, in a recent post in his website, he takes pride that a youngster of age 21 worships him as God. And he gives us a link, which points to the youngster's blog.

www.viewofanidiot.blogspot.com

(By now, you would have understood, from where I got my blog's URL :) )

He proudly says that all the youngsters like his books (and only his, not Jeyamohan's). And he further adds that if a youngster does not like his writings, that means the youngster's thoughts are not so young.

Link to Charu's post: http://www.charuonline.com/Dec2009/Elayathalaimurai.html (It is in Tamil).

The youngster says that he has completed reading 'Raasa Leela' in two days! And he himself is a writer it seems! Oh, god! save us.

And I read that youngster's blog, it is full of shit. By the time I am writing this, the titles of his latest posts are,

WAKE UP GIRL READERS!
HOW TO SMOKE???
SEXIEST SUBJECT
IF A GIRL SLAPS

and so on!

So this blog is the main inspiration for me to create a new one, which has a similar URL and a completely opposite subject matter.

And my blog has been created to prove one thing primarily.

NOT ALL THE YOUNGSTERS ARE 'IDIOTS'.

PS: Yes, a joker is no better than an idiot, for the simple reason that he only 'writes' and does not 'act'.

T261154

2010-01-02T11:26:00.000-08:00

I was lying there on a sofa. I am not able to see clearly. Images are very misty. It seems some people are lying there naked. May be three or four. One of them must be a girl, and they are having sex, I could hear it. I get blacked out again.

----

Now I am able to see clearly. No one is here in this room. But I can hear someone talking in somewhere nearby. Now is the time. My hands have been tied behind my body, and so my legs. I am dressless. Fear. Fear of life. I must untie myself somehow. There must be some cameras here. I must get out of here, before someone watches them. I just dragged myself down. There is a glass window. It has steel grills but there is a slit in the bottom, there a man can slide through, but it has a glass attached. There is no time to think. So I just stand up with all my strength and jump off breaking the glass.

-----

I am lying on the sunshade of the window underneath. I still am not able to hear the searching sounds of them. I have been tied with nylon wires. I could untie my legs using my hands stretching backwards. I tried to move that nylon wire to my wrists and almost to my palms. Now I bent and brought my hands to the front. I untied them using my teeth. Oh god, there is a crow watching me. Not one, there are three. One comes closer. It sits on a window nearby. Its eyes are dreadful. I jump to the next sunshade, and jump down a floor, on to the next building's terrace. Its kind of slope. Oh they have come. They are chasing me now. I must go and take her out before they catch me. She is trapped in the bunker inside the forest. Its 9° 31' 0" North, 80° 24' 0" East. At least two hours from here. I jumped into a Jeep parked there, and I need to break the password to start it. It took 43123 milliseconds to break it. The Tachometer shows 320 km/s.

-----

I jumped into the bunker, and there I saw her sitting there on the bare ground, trembling. I carried her and threw her into the Jeep and saw a lot of crows circling around. I started off the vehicle, and the Jeep was hit by a shell. I was thrown out. I just stood up and ran to the vehicle. It was a miracle literally. She was unhurt. You would notice her as a 4 year old girl child. I took her and started running. They surrounded me.

-----

They are having us both at gun point. I feel very numb. I plead them to leave her. I am not even conscious of my tears flooding on my cheek. I kneel down in front of one of them and start sobbing. He grabs me by my shirt and kicks me in my stomach. He says that if I move, he is going to kill her. I stand still. He takes out a knife and starts pushing it slowly into my upper stomach, I am looking at her, crying without making a sound. She is screaming and trying to release herself from their grasp and come to me.

He screwed the knife with a smile and takes it out. I am slowly falling off. And another one shoots her in the left side of the head. She falls off with partially disfigured head. They are around 20 people as far as I could see. He takes out his phone and simply says "T261154 and T2750012 have been terminated."

00000000000000000111111111000000000000000000110101010000000000000000000000000011
Error: System Failure
Processor data bus damaged.....
0x124235599999325945345945849999993453588888888888888888883945485834985495858945
00000000001111110101101010101010101010100000000000001111111111111111111110001101

------

Note: The above data has been taken from the memory chip of the Machine T261154 on the 17th of May 2054 after his and T2750012's termination.

In the late 2030's Machines were developed by a a private company for helping out human beings for their everyday activities. They looked exactly like human beings and they were able to make fairly complex decisions themselves. This company was later taken up by the government itself. This machines gained knowledge through their everyday activities. For example, if a machine does not know how to cut apples, you can show it how to cut it once and it would automatically learn it. But you should not take this example literally, since these machines come with a basic set of operations enabled by default. They were like children, but they learned pretty fast, though the knowledge was limited when compared to humans. But over time, some of the machines started gaining knowledge so much so that some machines (especially in the regions around 9° 40' 0" North, 80° 0' 0" East) were able to do up to 87% of the human activities, including thinking. This process was called 'waking up' of the machines. These modern technologies helped them gain knowledge very faster than human beings. But they were definitely harmless. But at the same time, the human beings started to feel insecure about their jobs, land and for their other needs. Slowly their hatred started increasing and spreading. They started marches and protests initially to terminate the machines. Some of them started attacking and terminating the machines. This happening increased at the same rate at the machines were becoming humane. The machines called these human beings 'The cannibals'.

So the cannibals started attacking and terminating the machines fearing for they might 'wake up'. These became a regular happening. And slowly the machines started retaliating. They also formed an army and led by a group of machines. All the machines had been given code numbers by their creators. And the machines called themselves 'T's.

The cannibal governments started attacking all the T's in regions around 9° 40' 0" North, 80° 0' 0" East. They had devices which could track the machines and find their locations. After 30 years of courageous fight, T's went down. Most of them were killed and the remaining ones were sent to Nazi like concentration camps and kept like beggars and tortured. But the T's in the other regions were not touched since most of them did not 'wake up'.

------

Notes from the memory chips of some of the T's, which had not woken up and were showing no signs of it, from the regions around 13° 5' 0" North, 80° 17' 0" East taken at the same time, T261154 and T2750012 were killed.

T126543, T396567& T999777 - "Having a drink with friends at a liquor shop. Because liquor is offered free for all by the government. He does not have any knowledge whatsoever about why the T's being terminated at the other region."

T977892, T977888, T988221 & a big queue - "Waiting in the queue to get free 6G cell phones with latest features offered by the government to all."

T888745 - "Planning to help a cannibal in starting a business around the region 9° 40' 0" North, 80° 0' 0" East, so that the cannibal can make money."

T993448 & T987456 - "Watching his favorite hero spitting out punch dialogues in a movie."

T424219 & a few lakhs of T's more - "Have got bribes recently from a contestant to vote for him in the coming elections."

"Wake up you bastards!"

-End-

From an anonymous diary

2009-12-30T20:56:00.000-08:00

I have read in some books that children have a very simple and happy life. I can not agree on that. I was studying 7th at that time if i remember correctly. My studies started to get dull at that time, since I was concentrating on other worthless things (according to 99 per cent of the indian parents), like games and drawing. It showed in my progress report obviously. And there was a guy, assume his name as X. He took first marks in the class at that period. I came down from 1 to 2,3, and to 5th rank in the class. Yes, now if you think, and I also found out pretty early than others, that these are just numbers, but I had to bear with my parents' scoldings at that time. And also (some of the studious) friends around you just fly away like crows when your marks go down in school. Lets come to X now.

He was very smart, and had a very calm personality. He had a smile on his face all the time. Always there were at least two guys around him, singing praises about him. His hand writing was superb, and he played football beautifully. But I never saw him helping anyone in studies or in any other way for that matter. Somehow I sensed his smile was very poisonous. He always used to flatter me with words like 'Hey buddy, You are the top ranker holder in the class man!' or 'Hey, You know every thing man!', when he was the top student in the class. Because of him, until this day, if someone comes to me and says words like these, i want to run away from that place or I want to smack that person down. I did not like him, because for some reasons unknown I sensed, he did not like me. And I must say I was jealous of X.

Once there was this annual day function came. They announced many competitions. X and his sidekicks were participating in most of the competitions. So due to this peer pressure, I too had given my name in drawing and essay writing competitions, because X had already won most of the other competitions. I hoped to win at least one. In the essay competition, the topic was 'Population Explosion'. The winners of such competitions were mainly judged based on their hand writings (Content is secondary). I did not prepare anything, but tried my best to write some stories. But I do not know from where these wild imaginations come from, but my essay went like this under the subsection 'Population Control'. I wrote, 'Apart from birth control methods our govt currently has, since our population is gone out of control we can consider killing people based certain criteria, like aging people or beggars'. I do not know whether I added the phrase 'aging people or beggars' since it was long back, but I still remember vividly, that the word 'killing' was definitely there.

When I submitted my essay, my hands were trembling slightly, I did not know why. But I could guess some thing was wrong, I thought I made a terrible mistake, but it was too late to correct it. In the next two days I thought of running away from everyone and to some unknown place, but i did not have the courage. But still there was no news about the result of the competition and about my 'essay'. As usual X came to me and said, 'Hey Dude! As always you are gonna win this competition!' and the sidekicks started laughing at me. And he asked me what I wrote in the essay competition, and I said what I had written. Then again they all burst out laughing. My body started sweating unusually. After half an hour I think, a boy came and said that the Teacher who was the Judge for the Essay Competition wanted to meet me. I was on the verge of peeing in my trousers.

I went there, and she was reading my essay there! I was simply standing there almost crying. I was trying very hard to control my tears. She looked up at me, I cant say whether she was looking at me furiously or was it just a blank stare. And after a few seconds of silence, she simply said 'Okay, go!'. I ran like bull, entered my class room, and sat there trembling and I was drenched in sweat, staring at the blank wall.

That was the last competition I participated. I regained the top rank of the class some how. But X's studies hit very low when I finished my schooling.

Almost ten years are gone, last year my aunt asked me to go with her for shopping. We entered a small textile showroom. There I saw the Teacher who judged that essay competition. I was not sure whether she recognized me, but I slowly started walking out. My aunt was yelling my name, but I had already started running towards my house.

2009-12-29T05:40:00.000-08:00

Long back I read a book 'Does God exist?' written by Writer Sujatha (Tamil). He says that the day we learn how matter exists as both 'wave and particle', we might be able to understand how the universe was created. I think the same thing is mentioned in 'The brief history of time'.

That is, we have to find a principle, which conforms to both Modern theory of relativity and the theories of Quantum mechanics.

I recently came across a website, which talks about 'The spherical standing wave structure of matter', and this principle introduces some thing called 'wave structure' of the matter, which gives an illusion that matter exists both as wave and particle.

Find the link below:

http://www.spaceandmotion.com/Physics-Quantum-Theory-Mechanics.htm

Also the link for the PDF of the book written by Sujatha.

http://www.techsatish.net/2009/01/21/sujathas-kadavul-irukirara/

About myself!

2009-12-29T04:56:00.000-08:00

Once a friend called me 'A Joker'. I was so hurt at that point of time, that he wrote that in my slam book during the final days of our college. But over time I realized each and every one of us is a joker, who takes this life very seriously and lets others laugh at him. So yes, I am one of these jokers, who keep on talking mean things and die lousily, having done nothing in their life.

So what am I doing here in the blogger world?

I do not have any ambitions in my life as of now, like most of you surfing the net aimlessly while I am writing this. But some times I feel I have things, which I like to share with someone, but either I do not have anyone to share it , or I fear it exposes that I am weak and vulnerable. So I want to register them in some cheap and effective way so they are not lost over time.

Do join me friends!!